So had an interesting call the other day. One of our remote sales staff calls me saying that he’d like permission to install Norton 360 on his company laptop. I tell him I can’t allow him to install his personally purchased AV software as we already have AV software on the laptop that would conflict and company policy etc. etc. Should be the end of the discussion right? Of course not, but this response certainly caught me off guard.
Salesperson: “Ok but I really need Norton 360 on the laptop to be able to work. I’ve been having all kinds of issues.”
Me: “Well you haven’t reached out to me or submitted a ticket”
Salesperson: “I can’t even get online with my work laptop. I need the VPN in my Norton 360 subscription to access the internet!”
Me: " I- wait what? If you can’t connect to your network at home a VPN isn’t going to solve anything."
Salesperson: “Well everything else is connected and it has the VPN software on it.”
Me: “That doesn’t mean the VPN is the solution. I can tell you for a fact that if your laptop isn’t connecting to your network a VPN can’t help you.”
Salesperson: “Well I need the VPN for other reasons too.”
Me: “Uhhh, like what?”
Salesperson: “Some really bad people are after me and have hacked my network. That’s why I’m having all these issues. That’s why I need the VPN. I even have 2 ISPs in my house because Google fiber is supposed to be more secure.”
Me: "… " *sigh* “So bad people were smart enough to hack both of your networks and block a single one of your computers from connecting to the internet, but they are seemingly unable to do anything to block your other internal network devices because of your Norton 360 VPN?”
Salesperson: “Yeah Norton 360 seems to fix the issue.”
Me: “Norton isn’t a magic wand and it doesn’t make your computers invisible. If these bad people are inside your network they can see all the devices and their local IP addresses. It would take no time at all to disable network access to all your devices or even just brick your routers. It is considerably more likely that something else is going on and I’d be happy to troubleshoot that with you so we can get you back up and running.”
Salesperson: “So you won’t let me install Norton 360?”
“Me:” “Nope. Now can you tell me more about your setup so I can provide some initial things for you to check?”
Salesperson: “No, that’s ok I know it won’t fix anything. I’ll just use my personal laptop.”
Me: “Ok then. I’ll note that on my end. Anything else I can help you with?”
Salesperson: “Actually yeah, my phone has been dropping calls a lot lately.”
We use a cloud based phone system. So I log into check his analytics.
Me: “So it looks like you are using the Mobile app (totally fine), but a lot of your calls are originating from other countries. Are you using a VPN when you are making calls?”
Salesperson “Yup.”
Me: “Well trying to route a VoIP call over a VPN tunnel to halfway across the globe is going to cause significant latency that can cause your bad call quality and dropped calls and I’m seeing that in the logs. I’d recommend not using the VPN while making calls.”
Salesperson: “But then I can’t access my internet!”
Me: “Have you even tried not using the VPN?”
Salesperson: “No because it’s been working and I need the VPN to protect myself from the people who are out to get me.”
Me: “Well if you are unwilling to let me troubleshoot your connectivity issues then I can’t fix your first issue, and if you won’t disable your VPN on your phone I can’t fix your second issue. Also, I’ll be sending a message to your manager detailing your issues and your refusal to troubleshoot them. If you change your mind please reach out to me.”
Salesperson: “Ok that sounds good.” *click*
I updated the ticket I created and sent an email to their manager detailing the conversation as a CYA. I’ve had some weird interactions, but this one definitely earned a place near the top.
The last Nortonproduct i allowed for installation on any computers was Norton Commander (for DOS), anything that came after that was garbage and qualified for immediate OS reinstall